Flashback: 1 year
One year ago I was in Zambia, I wrote this blog about being in love with Jesus. I still remember the day, the heat, the living room I was sitting in. I wanted to take you back. I really needed to be reminded of this today, to ask for big things, to be confident that the Lord wants to give you what you desire. So, here you go.
World Race day, 11/11, I found myself with ear buds in and my heart was swelling with love. I feel the love of Jesus every day but this day was different. I loved him back, hard core. I couldn’t stop writing about the different ways I loved Him, and why I felt his love extra strong.
“Jesus! I’m so in love with you. I love how you’re showing me how much I mean to you. You trust me with so much. I don’t even know how to express how much it means to me that you trust me. I want to fall deeper and deeper in love with you. You know how much I loved Zambia. You brought me back less than a year later. You love me so much. You’ve always answered my prayers. Even ones I wasn’t very confident in praying. It’s like you were waiting for me to ask you for my full time job to be taken. I knew I couldn’t just throw that gift away. Every single thing in my life has led me to work for you! What? You trust me enough to spread your love to the nations!?…” (Now that’s a trust kind of love.)
“…I used to answer the question, ‘What do you see yourself doing in Five years?’ with, ‘Whatever God wants me to do. I will let Him guide me.’”
You see, it’s not bad to sit back and wait for God to move, but He has so much more for you. He puts desires on your heart and he wants you to pray fervently for those. He put the desire on my heart to be a full time missionary. If I’m honest with myself I’ve known that for several years now, but He didn’t give it to me until I asked. I wasn’t ready to be a full time missionary until I finally asked. He knew that though, he’s God. I started filling out my application for the World Race 2 days before my job was taken from me. Sometimes we have to take a step towards what we want before He will give it to us.
There is something to say about Gods timing. You might want something now, be praying for it now, expecting it soon, but you’re not ready. Only God knows when you’re ready. You have to continue going to Him daily with your desires. Since coming to this realization I’ve tried to plan the next 5 years of my life. “God, this is what I want with in the next five years…but how is it all going to fit in 5 years? Maybe I need to take one of those desires away? Should I make my list smaller?…” So much doubt and confusion, but I know my God isn’t a God of confusion. There’s a difference between asking for things you want and then trying to plan out how it’s going to look in your own head. It’s not your job to figure out how it’s all going to work. All you need to do is give those desires God places in your heart right back to him. Maybe everything I’m asking for in the next 5 years won’t be given to me in that time, but I know that if I have desires and don’t share those, I’m keeping a part of my heart from Him. I don’t want to keep things from Him any more.
Are there things you want in your life but you’re scared to ask for them? Maybe you’re afraid God won’t answer that desire in your timing? Give that fear over to Him, he doesn’t want you to have that fear. I challenge every person that reads this to write out the desires that are currently on your heart. Give those over to God. Good, bad, ugly, no matter what it is. Something you want in the future? Something you’re struggling with? He wants to replace sinful desires with His desires for your life.
